“I love you, Marilyn! You are my daughter. I have chosen you. I have loved you before you were born. Nothing changes this love – nothing you do, nothing that has been done to you and nothing you struggle with. No matter how many times you doubt me, no matter how many times you don’t trust me or no matter how many walls you think you have between you and me. I am your Father! I love you more than you can imagine!”
It seems this is a reminder God has to give me every once in a while. As someone once told me sometimes we have be reminded of the simple things over and over again in our relationship with God. One of these lessons for me is that He loves unconditionally and He is not going to let me down or hurt me.
In the last year, I have learned He is a good Father. This started with a conversation with my pastor. In a conversation, my pastor brought up that I see my heavenly Father through the same lens as my earthly father. Realizing this made realize that I do not see my heavenly Father the way I should. Yes, there were many times I trusted Him and there were many times I had faith in Him. But then there were many other times I would try to do life on my own. Because I thought I had to because of the earthly father figures in my life who have let me down or have hurt me. It boiled down to me thinking I could only depend on myself. And this created a very independent spirit in me. While being independent is not entirely wrong, it is not always conducive when you’re in a relationship. Especially with your Creator. There were many times I would (and still do) mess things up in life because I thought I could or had to do it on my own.
As I worked through this part of my journey this year, there were times it seemed like I was never going to get it. But then there was a point where I realized I had started to grasp this. I was in an interview (for my current job) when I was asked what was one thing God has taught me in the last year. The only thing that came to my mind was that He is a good Father. As I told the interviewer my answer, there was the start of tears in my eyes of joy. It was in that moment I realized I believed these words He had been telling me over and over again in the last year!
I know I will need to be reminded of as I continue to deepen my relationship with my heavenly Father. I know there will be times that I try to rely on myself and not on my Heavenly Father because that is my tendency. But in those moments I am reminded His grace is there for me and will continue to be there.
This song is something I have held onto in the last year as I have walked this part of my journey. Good Good Father by Chris Tomlin ft. Pat Barrett