Ever had God shows you a glimpse of where you are going next? And when He does this for us most of the time our response is to not step into it or even take steps towards it. Because it is the unknown and most of the time we fear the unknown. Fear has been my response. And He has had to give me definite signs time and time again that there is the direction He wants me to go in the last two years.
One of the signs was in 2017, I applied for graduate school and did not get accepted in it. Granted by the time that I got my answer I was hoping that I would not get accepted because I knew I needed to invest into an idea I had for my business. Because I knew that if I did not see where it went that I was going to regret it. In the the last year, I have had multiple opportunities where others invested in my business and me. Each time it confirmed the direction that He had for me.
But through this all I still struggled with myself and the direction that God has called me to. I struggled with myself because I love my career in social work and the community I work in. And I love visual storytelling and photography especially with elderly. There was this tension between the two because I felt that if I leave social work I am leaving a career that I have built and love for over 10 years. And I was letting myself and others around me down by leaving social work. But I knew that if I did not see where my business might go that I was going to regret that and I could not live with that. (I don’t live life with too many regrets.) Last summer I realized that I could merge the two in my business. I could do coaching and mentoring with other business owners especially with visual storytelling and photography.
Fear and feelings of inadequacy has been my next struggle when it comes to pursuing my business as a full time gig. I have stability with my career in social work. And leaving that stability scares me! For those that don’t know, I am single. That means that I am the only bread winner in my household. I do not have a significant other to fall back on financially if the business would not work out. So I need to make sure that I when make the transition from social work career to entrepreneurship that I must an revenue that can support me and my business. When I think of the revenue that is needed for this, fear and inadequacy kicks in overdrive. This will then paralyzes me to the point that I don’t do anything. It is then that I realize that I am relying on my own independence (man, independence is a STRONG streak in me! Anyone else have this issue?) and that I am not relaying on Him. I know that these are struggles that everyone goes through and can identify with.
The last 4 months has been a season that has challenged almost everything in every area of my life. But the growth that I have had in this season has been tremendous and I am have the deepest relationship with God than I ever have had. And it would be easy for me to not work on my business in this season because of everything that is going on. But this season has also confirmed the direction that full time entrepreneurship is something I want and something He has for me in the future.
The other day I was journaling and God told me this “You may feel inadequate or that you are not good enough or that you do not know enough or imposter syndrome is kicking in but I knew all this and I still gave you this dream. I still gave you a new purpose. I am enough to conquer all fears, inadequacies and imposter syndrome. Rely on me because I am enough. They are all there when you started anything new in life especially in social work. But you relied on me, pushed through those things and did it scared. Because I am enough it makes you enough to be able to do what I have called you to do next.”
“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” – Philippians 4:13
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” – Jeremiah 29:11
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” – Romans 8:28
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:6-7
These verses show that God’s promised are true and that He wants His best for me. And that I should not fear when He calls me to new places because He is walking the journey with me, He goes before me and that when I am walking in His purpose for me things will work out according to His will.
When you are called to new things, is your response okay lets go God or is it a response of fear?