Can we stop arguing?!? The fact is that 18,559 people have died in the United States in 81 days! This number does not include the people who have died that are not related to COVID-19.
As scary and uncertain my future looked that day, I was resting in this unshakable peace. I was leaving my job without a plan not knowing what was going to be next.
As I look at these last nine months, I see the lessons that God had for me in this valley:
We have been fed this lie that being busy is a good thing. I think as a society we have … More
And as I heard those words tears started to come to my eyes. I realized at that moment the waiting in this season was being to wear on me. And that even though I trust God and His timing for my life, I realized in that moment I was starting to doubt.
At the beginning of this year, the words God gave me for this year was rest and trust. In January, I had no idea how that would how literally this would play out in my life this year. And honestly when God gave me these words I did not understand why He gave them to me.
My job was to empower them through these moments, show them hope in the hopeless situations and provide resources for them to move forward in life.
While I was doing helping others dream for themselves, inside over time I had quit dreaming. I had allowed life to stifle my creativity. I had allowed my own exhaustion to take over when I had down time.
Over the next fews days, as I thought about my future and what God was asking me to do. I felt this unshakeable peace and I tried to shake it to make sure it is real. But I couldn’t shake it.
It ended with a day where it seemed like everything fell apart. I cried so much that day that I did not think it was possible for me to have that many tears in my eyes and that there would be tears left in my tear ducts. I remember feeling so broken. I ended up leaving work early that day.
But through this all I still struggled with myself and the direction that God has called me to. I struggled with myself because I love my career in social work and the community I work in. And I love visual storytelling and photography especially with elderly. There was this tension between the two because I felt that if I leave social work I am leaving a career that I have built and love for over 10 years. And I was letting myself and others around me down by leaving social work. But I knew that if I did not see where my business might go that I was going to regret that and I could not live with that.
Recently I have been faced with one of the hardest things that I have had to go through in my adult life. While I am still in the midst of it all, there are a few things I have learned in last couple weeks.
There are times that we think of something we want. And we think of ways to make this thing we … More
And I almost wore this jaded filter as a badge of honor. I thought it was okay to view my clients that I worked with through this jaded filter. In some ways, I thought I was being wise when I looked at my clients with this jaded filter. I remember telling a coworker that I can tell she is early on in her career because of the hope and optimism that she has in a situation with a client.