That Wednesday morning at work, I was feeling anxious to the point it was the closest thing I ever felt to anxiety attack. My muscles in my back tensed up and the tension lasted for days.
These questions kept coming up in my mind.
A journey of being loved by the Father.
That Wednesday morning at work, I was feeling anxious to the point it was the closest thing I ever felt to anxiety attack. My muscles in my back tensed up and the tension lasted for days.
These questions kept coming up in my mind.
Over the next fews days, as I thought about my future and what God was asking me to do. I felt this unshakeable peace and I tried to shake it to make sure it is real. But I couldn’t shake it.
It ended with a day where it seemed like everything fell apart. I cried so much that day that I did not think it was possible for me to have that many tears in my eyes and that there would be tears left in my tear ducts. I remember feeling so broken. I ended up leaving work early that day.
But through this all I still struggled with myself and the direction that God has called me to. I struggled with myself because I love my career in social work and the community I work in. And I love visual storytelling and photography especially with elderly. There was this tension between the two because I felt that if I leave social work I am leaving a career that I have built and love for over 10 years. And I was letting myself and others around me down by leaving social work. But I knew that if I did not see where my business might go that I was going to regret that and I could not live with that.
“Worry is like a rocking chair – it gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.” ― Dorothy Galyean
Recently I have been faced with one of the hardest things that I have had to go through in my adult life. While I am still in the midst of it all, there are a few things I have learned in last couple weeks.
It is in this waiting place that we often get impatient and frustrated with God and life. And we can ruin what God make have in store for us.
I didn’t know exactly what I was getting into when I started working in social services. You see I kinda stumbled on this field. When I was in college, I started out as a business management major. I loved business and still do to this day but it didn’t feel like the right fit. I met with a career advisor at my college and I was asked “Would you rather work with people or numbers?”
There are times that we think of something we want. And we think of ways to make this thing we … More
And I almost wore this jaded filter as a badge of honor. I thought it was okay to view my clients that I worked with through this jaded filter. In some ways, I thought I was being wise when I looked at my clients with this jaded filter. I remember telling a coworker that I can tell she is early on in her career because of the hope and optimism that she has in a situation with a client.
But once I sat down against the wall on the floor in the back of the room, the tears started and did not stop. As I sat there in my Father’s presence, I could not figure out why I was crying.
And if I am honest I have been the person who has had these thoughts at one time or another in my life time. It is so easy to judge others when we know little to nothing about the other person. We don’t know their story or what has brought them to where they are today.